Murong paper on the snow mountain

Chapter 50 The Pure White and Innocent Ye Pu

Back then...how could I have the heart to abandon him.

Don't you know that when you leave, Ah Zhi will be left alone?

30 days a month, twelve months a year, Murong Zhi lived alone for at least seven or eight years.He couldn't make it through a mere month, but those days Ah Zhi spent by himself were a hundred times the torture of his month - not to mention there was a living person by his side, what about Ah Zhi?

If it was him, he might have gone crazy long ago, right?If I were the one who was let down, would I be able to resist going down the mountain to kill someone in such a situation?

Gouging out one eye, although Tang Ji also had his grievances, Ah Zhi really has been merciful.

How on earth...how on earth can he still be gentle, still willing to take care of himself, and still not stingy with the occasional sympathy and love.

……

Xie Lv felt that he really deserved to die.

What are the "grievances" I suffered in the capital back then?

Isn't it just that he was beaten with a sap on his deathbed and saw the reality clearly?At least for such a long time before, people have always treated you very well, haven't they!Anyway, you can still see "hope"!

But Ah Zhi... can he see hope?

When you left, what did you leave for Ah Zhi...?

……

Xie Lv bit her dry lips, tears streaming down her face.Just lying on the bed stiff like that, blankly counting the tassels on the bed curtain.fifteen, sixteen...

A paper.Come back quickly, come back quickly.

I miss you so much.

She clearly knew that Murong Zhi went here for her own good, to save herself from suffering.

But, but...

We can be together, maybe there are not many days.

It's almost a month away.The days that were already pitifully few are now even fewer.

Ah Zhi, I would rather you spend more time with me.

Isn't it pain?It only hurts for a few days every month, just endure it.But I still want to hold your hand, make you laugh a few more times, and see your appearance more.

I want to remember your appearance well.

Even if you die, go down to the blue spring and drink Mengpo soup, you don't want to forget it.

……

Those few days were the coldest time in midwinter, Xie Lv walked through the snowy field behind the mountain, and arrived in front of the library hall where Murong Zhi often visited recently.

I really hope that when the door is opened, he will sit inside.A lamp is like a bean, illuminating the collection of books all over the floor.

It is said that the ancient books in the Snow Palace were all collected by Murong Zhi, the master, the well-known ghost doctor Wei Sanyi decades ago.

For many years, those old books have already been covered with thick dust, and no one reads them at all.

Now, Murong Zhi hasn't practiced and meditated in Tingxue Palace for a long time.When he was practicing in the past, he can often be found studying hard in this library hall recently.

He was still... always thinking about finding a way to save him.

The bottle of "**" that Xie Lu got from him before was shown to A Li later, and A Li said that it was just a sugar pill that Ye Pu made for fun on weekdays. What kind of poison is it?

That day, Ah Zhi was so angry, but he would still use this kind of thing to lie to him...

Xie Lv sat down on the cool blue brick floor of Zangshu Pavilion, picked up an ancient book, and flipped through it absent-mindedly.But his thoughts were far away in the sky, as if he had floated beyond the palace gate to the vast snow-capped mountains outside. In the endless white mist, he saw his figure walking alone in the cold wind on the day he came back after a ten-year absence through time and space.

He thought of how he was half asleep and half awake in the rickety carriage on the way to come here.

At that time, he still frequently looked back at the capital through the curtain, as if he was looking forward to some impossible miracle, and felt sad about his ten-year dream, but finally woke up from the dream and was desolate.

At that time, the somewhat distant name "Murong Zhi" was just a dusty memory of ten years ago to Xie Lv.

He was clearly the person next to him, but the man in white was both familiar and unfamiliar to him. Sometimes he seemed to remember his every move clearly, but sometimes he couldn't remember the specific appearance of that face at all.

At that time, I was young, I didn't know love and hate, and I didn't indulge in love.

In the four years of neck-to-neck warmth, there has never been a slight bit of soul or dream.It wasn't until I looked back on my life that I suddenly remembered that I was unkind and sorry for others.

So he's back.I felt sorry for him back then and wanted to die at his hands.

But he never thought that when he saw Murong Zhi again, the memories of the past would come back into his heart bit by bit.The fragile emotions under that person's indifferent appearance, and the tender care hidden in the dislike and boredom, gradually penetrated into the dusty heart that has suffered from the world.

What he didn't understand in the past, what he didn't cherish in the past, like a child who just came out of the primordial, he finally began to realize the great enlightenment of this life.

Only then did he realize that above the snow mountain was another gentle drunken dream of his.Sweeping away his obsession and resentment in the past ten years, Murong Zhi used his forbearance and gentleness to wrap him around and tie him up, making him so confused that he couldn't escape.

Xie Lu clearly knew that he was going to die soon, when he left Beijing, he secretly vowed to never mention the word love again.Now she can't help being addicted to it, she only wants to be by Murong Zhi's side, and never wakes up until she dies.

It's a pity, it's a pity...

It's too late to regret.

Once, the emperor ordered him to be killed, but he knelt under the steps without saying a word.He once charged on the battlefield, took the lead, and was fearless.

In the past, I was not afraid of death.Now I am terrified every day.

Don't want to die, not reconciled.He had just returned to Murong Zhi's side, and he didn't do anything that should be done, what should be taken care of, what should be repaid to him, what should be protected by him.On the contrary, it caused him a lot of trouble and caused him to shed a lot of tears.

I am worried that no one will take good care of him after I leave, and I am also afraid that I will not be able to wait for him on the Naihe Bridge in the future.

……

Xie Lv knew that for the current self, it was meaningless to expect anything else.

It's better to work harder in the little time left, and to eliminate a little bit of the cold wall that Murong Zhi built in his heart to keep everyone indiscriminately.

At least let him believe that he really likes him now, and stop belittling himself.Don't think that everyone in this world is a liar anymore, and don't open your heart to others just because you met yourself, Tang Ji, and Qi Yan.

At least, there is that child Ye Pu... who never lied to you, right?

Although Xie Lv himself didn't like the kid who was always poking his knife behind his back, at any rate, that kid had always attached great importance to Murong Zhi and obeyed him.

Although there are thousands of people who don't want to, even though there are 1 people who are unwilling.But before he died, no matter what, he must let Murong Paper melt a little more.

That child...beautiful and sensible, he can cook and make medicine, and he has never lied to you.

Everywhere is better than me.

If he can accompany you and comfort you for the rest of your life, I...I...

Although envious, although jealous, but also... relieved.

Otherwise, are you going to let you hold on to that indifferent mask for the rest of your life, and never let anyone see your original fragility?

Is it up to you to make me a living zombie in the future, take me with you every day, sneer and drink, and vent your love and hatred on the lifeless corpse.Make everyone really believe that you can be ignorant, painless and tearless from now on?

If so, Xie Lu would rather make wedding clothes for others.

After death, ask Ah Zhi to cry well, and then ask those who know how to love him to heal him.

……

The bright moon in the sky is full again in a blink of an eye.

Xie Li had a nightmare.

In the dream, his whole body was entwined with thorns, and his heart trembled with pain at the slightest movement. Struggling in the darkness, he finally held a cold hand.

He thought it was Murong Zhi, who was so comforted and satisfied just now.But when he looked up, he saw an unexpected face—the peerless face that he wanted to forget all the time, just like the beautiful snake in the painting, smiling at him in a terrifying way.

Xie Lv woke up with a start, then passed out from the pain again, in the dream it was Murong Zhi for a while, and that person again for a while, and then everything finally returned to peace.

He went back to a long time ago.

At that time, he was not as tall as Murong Zhi, and he was just a poor kid who had just escaped from the clutches of his boss and was beaten all day long by no one.

From a servant who didn't have enough to eat, he became a young master who was loved by thousands of Murong papers in Tingxue Palace overnight.

He asked himself in confusion, is it really not good to live like that?

When I first arrived at Tingxue Palace, I obviously felt very happy.I used to not be able to eat enough all day long, but now I can finally eat enough and wear warm clothes, and there are still people who love me, giving me what I want, how happy I am!

But later, such happiness became a habit, then it became boring, and finally it even became a burden!

... Human desires are really endless.

This mountain looks at the height of that mountain.But in the end, Xie Lu, Xie Lu, how precious and important did you exchange to satisfy that endless desire?

Xie Lv.Why, why are you so stupid...

Why are you so stupid!

His body was lying on the bed and twitching, and tears kept falling from the corners of his eyes.Xie Lu was tossing and turning in the endless pain of the restless Gu insects.

He didn't know how long he had slept, whether it was day or night, whether it was a dream or reality, whether he was dead or alive, he seemed to have finally heard Murong Zhi's elegant and deep voice.

That cold hand caressed his forehead, with a sticky smell of blood, both real and illusory.

"Master, master—it's over! That's enough! You go to the medicine bath, he's nothing serious at all, but you—"

Ye Pu's anxious voice sounded very far away, while Xie Lv seemed to be lying on the bank of a dark river, his consciousness was clear, but he still couldn't open his eyes.